Arranging and Purchasing a Cremation and Memorials
Cremation fell out of favor with the Christian population in the early Middle Ages, but was later recommended on grounds of health and sanitation during the reign of Queen Victoria. A milestone was reached in 1963 when the Pope lifted the ban on cremation. In 1966, Catholic priests were allowed to officiate at Cremation ceremonies. Even today, religious practices like Islam, Orthodox Judaism, Zoroastrianism, Parsees and Greek Orthodox Christianity forbid the practice of cremation. It has been the usual method of disposal of the dead among Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Calvinists, Liberal Jews, Roman Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons and Methodists, to name a few.
Arranging a cremation:
You have to inform the funeral director and instruct him that you will be following a cremation service. The funeral director will be fully conversant with all the formalities and will obtain the necessary forms, which will also contain a letter of authorization from a near relative stating the desire to cremate the deceased. The funeral director will notify the crematorium of the date and time. You will also have to inform the crematorium how you wish to dispose of the cremation ashes.
Cost:
Normally, cremation costs up to a third less than a burial as there is no headstone or grave to be purchased. The funeral director’s charges are usually the same for both services. A typical funeral can cost $6,000 compared to $1200 for a cremation and service. Caskets typically start at about $2,000 for an economy model and quickly rise from there. Be sure and shop around online. If you purchase a casket from the funeral home you will most likely pay twice or more for the same coffin online. Cremation urns vary dramatically in price from a low of $100 to thousands of dollars. But a typical purchase would be $100 to $500 online.
The ceremony:
The service is the same as burial and it may take place in one’s own church or in a crematorium chapel. The form of the service can be adapted to suit one’s own desires and the charges will depend on the services rendered and the time needed. The body is brought in a coffin and the coffin usually remains in view for mourners to pay their respects. After the service, the coffin is withdrawn into a room where it is labeled with all the relevant information. This label stays with the coffin until the final disposal of the remains. After the service, the body is taken in the coffin to be cremated. Almost without exception, the body is cremated along with the coffin. Once the cremation is over, the ashes are removed and cooled in a tray. This is then placed in an urn and permitted to be strewn. The remains that are in the urn are cindered to a fine white ash.
Memorials:
Christian churches have a separate section, usually referred to as Gardens of Remembrances, which is set aside for the disposal of cremated remains. Ashes are strewn or buried here, but no area can be reserved by any one person. Some crematoriums have secured niches that hold the urns containing the ashes. These are available on a rental basis. If the rent is not paid on time, the ashes will be buried or strewn. Some families also dispose of the ashes in a family grave or strew them at a favorite spot. Sometimes, areas of religious significance are picked up to hold the ashes. However it is important to obtain permission before one can dispose of the ashes in other places. If you so desire, you may also keep the ashes with you.
Cremation Urns:
The increase in the number of people choosing cremation is also reflected in the sales of cremation urns. Traditional urns are wood cremation urns and cast bronze urns or spun metal urns. But, increasingly people are opting for customized cremation urns that better reflect the life of the person or pet they memorialize.
As with any memorial, people are beginning to place sculpted cremation urns and other artistic funeral urns at home, either in the garden or as art in the home.
If you wish, some crematoriums will allow you to dedicate a garden item or a small plaque for a limited period on payment. Some also accept donations in the form of physical objects like stained glass, seats and other items. Such items will hold a small inscription of the deceased. Enquire with the funeral director regarding memorial facilities available at your crematorium. The staff at the crematorium will also be happy to assist with any information you may need.
Memorial Urns offers a wide selection of funeral urns and keepsakes, and memorial jewelry for humans and their pets. Find out more about memorializing your loved one at http://www.memorial-urns.com.
The Importance of Memorials in the Grieving Process
“You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.”
- Kahlil Gibran
Death comes knocking on every door, and we have no choice but to mourn silently while life passes away. The possibility of death is always with us. But in our rush to glorify the living, we turn a blind eye towards death. That is why we are so unprepared when death finally finds us – through someone we love, or in the course of our own journey.
One of the most painful things about death is that it is like a door, beyond which we have never seen. No one knows what happens on the other side, or if there is another side even. All we can do is stand on this side of the solemn door and wonder. It is because of this inconclusive nature of Death that most of us find it hard to accept it. If only we could know for certain that our dear ones are taken care of, that there is no pain any more, that there is a return to life, that we shall meet again.
One way to handle grief is to understand it. Another way to cope is to philosophize it. Reading books helps us do both. When we read about other people in grief, we discover that we are not alone and that what we are feeling is nothing new. It somehow helps take the edge out of the pang to know that others have traveled the same road before you. We also begin to see that there is a Grand Plan in life that cannot be defeated or postponed.
Suggested readings:
“I Can’t Stop Crying; It’s So Hard When Someone You Love Dies” – John D. Martin, Frank D. Ferris, Robert Buckman
Written by professionals dealing with death, loss and grief, this book is an invaluable reference book for those facing a crisis. The book contains practical examples that show the effect of grief on inter-personal relationships. It also explains the process of grieving and makes people understand that they have every right to feel whatever they do – be it anger, sadness or hopelessness. It even tells you how to ‘break’ the sad news upon other people and help them during those immediate hours of need.
“On Death and Dying” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
According to one reader, only two groups of people need not read this masterpiece – those that are not mortal, and those that cannot read. For every one else (that’s you and me), this book is a must-read. The main aim of the book is to ’sensitize family members of terminally ill patients to the implicit communications of dying patients’. The interviews given in the book are, in the most part, by people who are facing death. After reading this book, you may begin to see that although death is not be a happy subject, it needn’t be a dark and menacing mystery any more.
“Safe Passage: Words to Help the Grieving Hold Fast and Let Go” – Molly Fumia.
The words of comfort offered in this book move the reader through the rough and raw emotions of pain, anger, guilt and hopelessness to acceptance and transformation. The book consists of short meditations that help you deal with and understand the various stages of grief. This book has been used by many as a mainstay of their lives when they were going through intense pain and loss.
“You Can Help Someone Who’s Grieving” – Victoria Frigo, Diane Fisher and Mary Lou Cook.
Filled with common sense advice on how to help a grieving friend, it addresses the problem of helping a friend through the grieving process. It clearly states why we feel so uncomfortable dealing with grief and comes out with practical suggestions on how to help.
Memorial Urns provides products and information that help people move forward after their loss. Please visit http://www.memorial-urns.com for affordable cremation urns and memorial gifts.
How to Pick The Perfect Arrangements
When a family has experienced bereavement, it’s a thoughtful and caring idea to send sympathy flowers. It also helps to express your love and concern for them during their time of loss. You can choose between sending flowers to the funeral or to the family’s home. Generally, you would send them to the funeral if you knew the deceased. It can also be a nice idea to send flowers to the family after the funeral is over, so that they know you are still thinking of them.
If you want to order some sympathy flowers, talking to your local florist is a great place to start. They deal with sympathy flowers almost every day, so can be a great source of information about what’s appropriate and which type of arrangement and flowers you should select. It’s always a good idea to include a message card with your flowers, so that the family can identify whom the flowers are from. Those few well-chosen words can also mean a great deal to them.
Flowers For The Funeral
There are a few different types of sympathy flowers that you can send to a funeral, and some which are usually supplied by the bereaved family. If the service is going to have an open casket, then there are usually small bouquets, garlands or wreaths placed on the inside of the casket lid. These are known as inside casket pieces, and are usually supplied by the family.
There’s also a casket cover required when the casket is closed, and again, the family usually supplies this. There are quarter, half, and full casket designs. The larger styles can take a while to create, so it’s important to order these well in advance of the funeral. If you were close to the deceased and would like to order a casket cover, check with the family first to see what they’ve ordered, because there may not be room on the casket for your sympathy flowers.
Many people choose a funeral basket for their sympathy flowers. These are baskets or vases of appropriate flowers, and are usually delivered to the funeral service. These are good because they can stand alone and don’t require any attention on the day of the funeral. Funeral sprays are also a popular choice. These are a larger arrangement, and are usually made using an easel and floral foam for support. You can choose any shape you like, although crosses are one of the most popular options.
You can also choose a wreath, and again, these are supported by an easel to help keep them upright. Although circular wreaths are more traditional, you can also opt for another shape, such as a heart, if it seems more appropriate. Both wreaths and flower sprays are delivered to the funeral service, and may be moved to the gravesite if appropriate.
Family Flowers
Sending sympathy flowers to the bereaved family is always welcome. There is a huge range of appropriate designs to choose from, with a simple bouquet of flowers being a good choice. You can choose to have your flowers delivered in a vase, which means the family can simply enjoy the flowers from the moment they arrive. Remember that the family will be busy on the day of the funeral, so flowers should be delivered in the days before or after the funeral.
If you want to offer some more durable sympathy flowers, then why not give the family a peace lily? It’s an attractive indoor plant, with glossy green leaves and beautiful white flowers. You can have one delivered, or give it to the family in person, and it’s a wonderful way to let the family know you’re thinking of them on an ongoing basis.
Steve Dolan loves flowers and flower arrangements. For the perfect flower arrangemet click http://www.funflowersonline.com/arrangements. For more floral information take a look at http://www.funflowersonline.com
Virginia Tech, Why God
I could feel my Spirit lift, I felt as though I was floating. I looked down at the lifeless shell that was once my body. It looked empty, meaningless. Just as I began to ponder my death, a light shimmered down towards me. The light was so blinding that I tried to shield my eyes, but I couldn’t.
I trembled from my head down to my feet. A supernatural strength engulfed my body as the sight captured my heart and opened my mind to victory. Suddenly an overwhelming love sent joy rippling through my soul. The game of life was over and I had won the ultimate prize. I pondered this illumination.
During my game of life I never gave up, I held tightly to my faith. I refused to do evil, always prayed and held tightly to verses of love, hope and perseverance during the difficult times of life.
I passed my tests of life on earth and now I was brought before the throne of God to receive my reward. I stood before Jesus Christ with no fear. Every good thing I accomplished had been written in the book of life. Every sin I had committed out of foolishness and pride had been erased and pardoned, because of the blood of Christ.
I saw my life appear before my eyes as Jesus lovingly focused His attention on me. It was a flash so powerful that I gained many great revelations. All the times I thought I missed the Lord. All the times I failed to pass a test came flooding back to fill me with understanding about how they helped me find my purpose.
Luke 12: 49-53, “I came to set the earth on fire, and how I wish it were already kindled! I have a baptism to receive, and how distressed I am until it is over! Do you suppose that I came to bring peace to the world? No, not peace, but division. From now on a family of five will be divided, three against two and two against three. Fathers will be against their sons, and sons against their fathers; mothers will be against their daughters, and daughters against their mothers; mothers-in-law will be against their daughters-in-law, and daughters-in-law against their mothers-in-law.”
Every word from the Bible opened up and revealed to me their purpose. I began to understand why God made me gay during a time when the church preached that it was sin. When my family, children and church misunderstood my lifestyle, I stopped relying on people and completely dedicated my life to serving God.
My humility, brought on by the persecution I faced, taught me to listen to the voice of God. I understood how the teachings of Christ changed the Laws of Moses and began to set the world on fire. Fire that made families and nations fight against each other so that goodness could be revealed.
These revelations led me down roads I would not have traveled. Roads that led me to fulfill my life purpose. A voice that would inspire me to look at the world in a brand new way. The Holy Spirit taught me the difference between right and wrong.
When we look at the world as a game then we begin to see the battle that is fought between good and evil. The world’s current events help us see how the game of life plays out in the world. It shows us how evil fights against good.
Massacres in schools like Columbine and Virginia Tech plainly show how evil can motivate people to do hideous crimes. History exposes the evil lives of leaders who gas their own people and evil regimes that enabled a mad man to annihilate millions of Jews during the Holocaust.
For every evil person who commits horrific crimes against people, many more good people spur stories of truly inspirational lives. Professors who gave their lives for their students. Students who gave their lives for other students. People who died, but how they lived their lives, inspired all of us to choose to be better people.
What happens in life is the very reason why we must understand that we are in a great game of life. It is very easy for us to lose the reason behind why we are born into such a chaotic world. We can get sidetracked by work, higher education, having the newest electronic gadgets, or just by trying to build a better life for ourselves than our parents.
In order to win the game of life we must understand that we are in a game. We also must understand that in order to win, we must fight for the side of good which comes in our belief that there is a God.
Isaiah 45:5-7, “I am the Lord; there is no other god. I will give you the strength you need, although you do not know me. I do this so that everyone from one end of the world to the other may know that I am the Lord and that there is no other god.
I created both light and darkness; I bring both blessing and disaster. I, the Lord, do all these things.”
We must grab a hold of the Spiritual part of life all of the time. Not just when we are personally pulled into a dramatic life-changing tragedy. We must understand the battles that are occurring between God and Satan. To do this, we need Jesus to save us and to give us the interpretation of our world through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
Job 1: , “When the day came for the heavenly beings to appear before the Lord, Satan was there among them. The Lord asked him, ‘What have you been doing?’
Satan answered, ‘I have been walking here and there, roaming the earth.’
‘Did you notice my servant Job?’ the Lord asked. ‘There is no one on earth as faithful and good as he is. He worships me and is careful not to do anything evil.’
Satan replied, ‘Would Job worship you if he got nothing out of it?’”
From that moment Satan was given control over Job’s life in order for God to test him. Job lost his children, wealth and position in society and eventually his health. In his humility, everyone including his wife, tried to get him to believe that this was a punishment sent by God. Job refused to listen and he continued to hold tightly to his faith. Even though he was in the most weakened and afflicted condition that no human being could ever overcome.
Job’s life teaches all people about the war we face between good and evil. A war where Satan is given the ability to come in and corrupt the minds of men, if they refuse to give their lives to God and love. These are the people who choose to hurt others.
This is the reason why Virginia Tech happened. This is why Hitler was able to kill so many helpless Jews. This is the reason why genocide occurred in Africa and many other countries. Evil people and regimes gave into evil for power, wealth and influence.
It’s time to look at our world as a game. It’s time to gain wisdom from the massacres and murders perpetrated on innocent people. We must choose Jesus as our Savior and allow Him to work in our lives for good.
Exodus 20: 18-20, “When the people heard the thunder and the trumpet blast and saw the lightning and the smoking mountain, they trembled with fear and stood a long way off. They said to Moses, ‘If you speak to us, we will listen; but we are afraid that if God speaks to us, we will die.’
Moses replied, ‘Don’t be afraid; God has only come to test you and make you keep on obeying him, so that you will not sin.’”
When God is head of our lives we go through life and evil can’t pull us in and make us do its will. No matter what others do to us we never do the same. We look at the evil found in the world and we fight against it because we understand our game and we decide to fight for God!
I stood before my creator, He smiled and said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
Linda C Dipman author of THE GAME OF LIFE IT’S ALMOST OVER http://outskirtspress.com/gameoflife presents: AND HIS LOVE SHONE DOWN my true life story! It describes all the persecutions I endured. Lovinghandsministry.com